Now everybody's got a crazy notion of their own
Some like to mix out with a crowd some like to be at home
It's no one else's business as far as I can see
But every time that I go out the people stare at me

With me little ukelele in me hand
I'm sure the people just don't understand
Some say why don't you be a scout why don't you read a book
But I get much more pleasure when I'm playing with me uke

Of course I take no notice you can tell
For mothers sound advise will always stand
She said my son do what I say and you'll never go astray
If you keep your ukelele in your hand
Yes son keep your ukelele in your hand

While walking down the prom last night as peaceful as can be
This bird from Wales said how about a stroll down by the sea
She says her name was Girton and she'd just come for the day
She looked so young and oh so sad I could'nt turn away

With me little ukelele in me hand
I takes a stroll with Girt along the sand
We walked along for miles without a single care or frown
But when we reached the sand hill she said c'mon lets sit down

Oh I felt so shy and bashful sitting there
For the things she said I didn't understand
She said your love just turns me cuckoo
I indeed said goodness look you
But I kept me ukelele in me hand, oh baby
Kept me ukelele in me hand

Made me mind up I'd get wed some eighteen months ago
I even bought the book about the things you ought to know
But just about a week ago I had an awful fright
I had to get dressed quickly in the middle of the night

And with me little ukelele in me hand
I runs along the road for Doctor Brand
It didn't take him long to get his little bag of tools
I held his hat and coat and let him have me book of rules

Out of the bedroom door he looked and smiled
Said come inside and see your wife and child
Oh my heart it jumped with joy I could see it was a boy
'Cos he had his ukelele in his hand oh baby
He had his ukelele in his hand oh baby
He had his ukelele in his hand.
